The mere existence of things like television, video games, heroin, porn, alcohol, football, pizza with pineapple, and marijuana have taught us all one thing: something that makes you feel better doesn’t always make you a better person. If anything, these are more likely to make you a worse person in the long run.

Especially pineapple on pizza. I will do humankind a long-term favor and bury these people alive. You’re welcome, planet Earth.